All posts in the love category


Published July 31, 2015 by Liz Ault

Time wasted waiting for the mother who raised me to actually love and accept me. She’s dead.

Time wasted waiting for the mother who gave birth to be to actually love and accept me. She told me to fuck off.

Time wasted wishing my dad didn’t travel for weeks at a time. He did and he’s dead.

Time wasted waiting for Prince Charming – guess since I remained in the rags Gave up on Prince Charming, and haven’t worn rags in 40 years.

Time wasted waiting for that first major boyfriend to say he could not live without me. He’s married twice. Neither time to me.

Time wasted wishing the man I married was different. I can’t change him. Couldn’t then, can’t now. Feel fortunate he is still a friend.

Time wasted thinking I could ever be the person someone couldn’t live without. That just ain’t gonna happen. Way too late, and that’s okay.

Time wasted thinking these things would stop hurting me to the core.

Going to try to stop time wasted. Turning 60 was difficult (none of the other BIG birthdays were). I can’t change anything. All my time wasted IS time wasted. I can’t get that time back.

What that boils down to is I’ve wasted my whole fucking life hoping someone could make me whole. I know all the cliché’s that say only I can to it. But we don’t live in a vacuum.

Well, maybe I’ve been in a vacuum. Time wasted.