Zero to Hero

All posts in the Zero to Hero category

8908 and Me – Part 1

Published August 7, 2014 by Liz Ault

Hi. My name is 8908. Houses don’t get names as often as cars and pets.

My people have been in several places – 8904, 8908 and 8900 from 1955 to present.

My back porch was knocked off today. My ass hurts. I also lost my right forearm (just the bricks, not blood vessels yet). I’ve been empty of humans for months now.

Many in my neighborhood think I’m foolish. My last mom is feeling so weird at seeing a family home of 60 years, and her generation of family for almost 20 years, get knocked down in bits and pieces. Why can’t they knock me down all at once? Sort of like life support – unplug me.

I will be replaced. Once I’m knocked down, I will be replaced with a “McMansion.” Replaced with an extra wide double car garage with a small front door next to it. That will be my new “front.”

My little city/town has been replacing the small homes with the McMansion’s for a few years now. My street is the last one without one of these. My life will be replaced with one. Sorry, I keep repeating myself.

The other thing is cost. Okay, I know I’m a cheap little shit house. I tried to serve my families well, but failed miserably. I have bad something – not Karma, but something. My value is way higher that what I was purchased for. My human lived there, but was crushed in spirit. She left her husband to get away from suffocation. The husband made the owner feel like all was well, but nothing was well. I changed hands and that signed my death sentence.

Hi, my name is Liz. I was screwed out of my home. But that home didn’t bring much joy. So, why am I so intrigued with the extremely slow progress with tearing it down? I prefer the bandage be pulled off quickly. I have some guilt because it was in the family so long, and I failed it. But I can’t keep my eyes off it. I live two houses down and go out the back door and the front to see the progress. Damn.

My kids don’t care about this family house. They know it caused pain. It caused them the most pain. It cost them their innocence. So why do I give a shit?? Why do I have so much trouble letting go?

8908 and Me – Part 2

This year isn’t over yet – I will let go.

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Who do I think I am?

Published June 2, 2014 by Liz Ault

Still day one. Still trying to get my arms around the basics. Seems part of that is to discover or figure out why I’m doing this in the first place. My world is small, very small. There are only a handful of people in this small world of mine. But, with that said, there is a huge world out there. There are things in my background and experience that could help others. There are ways that I can make a difference.

I’m retired now. My last and longest job was in IT supporting the telecommunications infrastructure both at the home office and remote locations. When I left that job I was broken. The recovery was a slow one. It’s not complete, but I no longer feel broken. Not exactly fixed either, but most importantly not broken.

I kept diaries and journals most of my life. They actually helped me to cope with a very dysfunctional childhood. As an adult, they helped me get my thoughts together and “think” through what to do or how to act. The problem with diaries and journals are who they can or can’t help. They are only for me. Once I’m dead, I guess my kids will know more of my life adventures both good and bad, happy and sad. It’s time for me to reach out of my comfort zone. That has to be one of the perks of growing old. Worrying about the judgement of others lessens with age.

Some of what I hope to do is to cover some subjects close and dear to me. As I’ve muddled around the site the last few days, I’ve noticed a subject that has influenced me more than anything is adoption. When I used it as a key word I got pages and pages of posts about cats and dogs. Animal adoption events. Animal adoption experiences. Maybe I just didn’t enter enough information, but I saw nothing about human adoption. So, I’m guessing this is where I’ll probably start. There have to be people out there who want to share the adoption experience. And mine was not a Hallmark experience.

Another subject, or matter, or pet peeve is how little information is available about male breast cancer. I hope to be a voice on this also.

A year from now, I want to look back and feel like I’ve made a bit of a difference, even if only to myself.

Who Cares?

Published June 2, 2014 by Liz Ault

Procrastination brought me here today. Blog page created last October – today is the first entry.

Tomorrow will be the completion of my 59th year of life. 365 days until the big six-o. Why now? Who knows! I spend far too much time thinking about what I’m going to do. I have some really great ideas – I have ZERO follow through.

That was until November 19, 2013 when I smoked my last cigarette. That was until late January when I joined a gym and hired a trainer. That was until I realized this weekend that I already had a word press page….

Then to overcome the “who cares what I have to say”, you know, that thing that keeps you frozen in place. What do I have to say? Let’s see.

  • Guess I could talk about a life as an adoptee. For those who don’t know what that is, it is a part of the adoption triad (triangle). It’s the top – pointy tip – of the triangle. An adoptee is the person who was adopted. The bottom two corners are for the birth parent(s) and  adoptive parent(s). It encompasses all of my life and has been part of the biggest stall in my growth through the years as well as the catalyst for the largest growth.
  • The journey of going from a two-pack a day, 40-year addiction to a NON-smoker. What a journey it has been. I left updates on my Facebook page along the way and ended up with over 60 people who followed this life change. I chose to go cold turkey. No patches, e-cigs or vaping for me.
  • Women. Great subject. Why don’t we support each other more? Why are we so critical of ourselves and each other? Why haven’t baby boomers been taught how to age?
  • Bullying and its long term effects. How it makes you feel doesn’t stop because you: a) changed schools; b) graduated; c) moved to a new neighborhood; d) became an adult.
  • Anxiety, panic attacks and other “mental” health issues

Guess I came up with a few conversations starters, and have completed my first post/blog. Wow. I actually did it.